can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
