we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
