.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
