Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
