you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
