Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
