She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
