think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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