12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
