Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
NoShamevember. You game?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
