I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
