Umm I'm too high to move.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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