It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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