my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My dick has a subreddit
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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