you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
