So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
