drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
