Don't make out with my wife yet
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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