I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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