we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
