So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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