hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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