You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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