David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
