have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
