My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
