we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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