His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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