I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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