I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I got inside last night via doggy door
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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