it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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