You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
