laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
