I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I need to calm my uterus...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
