OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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