Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
