wat bout pragnant strippers??
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
