Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
