Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
