we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
