the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
