She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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