Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
