Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
