porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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