Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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