he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
