I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
