Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
