Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
