ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
