1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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