Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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