question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
