I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
