Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
