she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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