Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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