I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
