it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
