I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think a kid would responsible me up
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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