Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
