You're so nebulous sometimes
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
