As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
