did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize