Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
