I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
